I loved an hated everything about today. I had one of the best mornings ever. Sat in the Willbur Williams Prayer Chapel this mornign for two hours, wow. I feel like God was revealing a ton of who I was, and who He was, and how we need to interact. I have looked at my time with Him as something contrived, an effort. Early morning Bible study, late night prayer. God showed me that if it were my wife, I wouldn't wake up at 5 in the morning to spend time like that, I spend casual time daily and would reserve larger chunks of time monthly or weekly. I need to take better time with Him. Keith Drury spoke in chapel. It was great. I felt so at home at IWU. My time with Chris was great. I left Julie and Dan to have their alone time. I wonder what it will be like to have a girl feel about me the way my two best girl friends feel about their guys. It also sucked at the same time. I just feel so alone, so vulnerable, like a turtle without its shell. I just hate the place I'm in right now, but realize I am a fractured person that must become whole before I will be ready to join another whole. I know the right girl is out there for me but I also know that I'm not the right guy for her yet. I discovered, in my interactions at IWU, that I am everything every girl wants, but nothing that any girl wants. It kills me, but I must come to peace with this.

Shalom

Late for church this morning. Woke up late, and just got surprised by Annie knocking at my door. I was in my pajamas. My dad hopped in the shower right as I was going in there. Oh well. Got to church for a great service, late, but whatever. Dave Horne spoke today, I just love that guy! Really lives what he talks about. Great discipler, probly the best I've known in my life so far. Got lunch with Annie, ate in Julies car. Left from Starsucks... Starbucks, and we were on our way. The ride to Indiana was fun. Got to really talk to Julie on the way. Boundless love and respect for that girl!!! Mentioned to her today that after being a part of Fruitport Fusion it would be hard or impossible to go back to Spring Lake. Such a good leader, and really good about encouragement, something I have missed since Steve went to go start Watermark.
Question of the car ride: What would it be like if we lived counter-intuitively?
I have to say, it was really cool to be around people that really care about each other, waiting for that special someone.
Got into Dan's show. He wasn't as surprised as I thought he would be, but overjoyed to see Julie. Every time I'm around Dan I just like the guy more. Would love to be able to work with him in the future.
Went and saw the art show with Jules at 4:00. Met her friend Lyssa, great girl.
Dinner with Chris, now I just want to talk about Chris Boyer for a second. I feel like he is some long lost brother of mine. Like he somehow got detached from my family, and I'm just now being re-united with him. I see so much just really good stuff in him. If for nothing else, just being able to hang with Chris would make my experience at IWU worth while. His ability to just be still and firm is inspiring, his humility is genuine, and his artistic ability surpass any words I can put to screen, the closest word I can formulate is humbling. I have had the priveledge and honor of watching a true artist create. Watching him work has really blurred the line for me between art and genius. I told Chris I feel like I should be making a documentary. To take a raw mental image and turn it into something profound, and influencial, just shows me what it means to make art ministry. I am retiring for the evening

Shalom

Crashed at Jess's. It was fun, actually finished a movie. We tried watching princess diaries three times, and never even made it halfway. I woke up early, if you concider eight early. Sat and talked to Kristen, for a while. She's so inspiring. Just waiting on God, eduring boredom for the sake of the kingdom. Feeling static and unchallenged, but content with who she is and what God mader her to be. That is the kingdom of heaven. Bringing light to the dark places. She works at a pre-school in Holland. Amazing with children. She tells me stories about how she is bad at her job, she is the co-director, and the children try to get in trouble so they they can go visit Miss Kristen.
Scriptural ideal: What would it be like if the kingdom of God crashed into the kingdom of earth.
Jess woke up at like 11:30, I wish I could have. We watched Moonstruck, "I don't want to talk about it."
I came to an awkward realization. Jess is not only one of the best friend I've ever had, she is also one of the most amazing people I've ever known... Period!!! Everything from prepping the couch for me, to sending me a lean cousine for dinner at work. She is just a person I can be myself around. I feel like I will spend the next years of my life looking for her clone. She makes me wish that a groom could just have groom's people in stead of goomsmen. I'll probly just ask my fiance to let her be a bride's maid, don't know if that is wierd or not, don't really care.
Got asked by the lovely and talented miss Collins to do an art project. I don't know what I'm going to do yet, but it has to depict forgiveness, submit any ideas as comments.
I new friend was in at java. Wrestling with what it means to wait on God. What it means to prepare for a call that is uncertain. To make a key for a lock with secret tumblers. And where to go when nothing is revealled. I have been wrestling with such a question myself. I have begun to come to the conclusion that if God gave us the whole vision we would never have reason to use our faith. I guess our lives are like a scroll, all of its contents known, and guided, but not all unravelled. Fascinated.

Thought for today: What if I could life today with the hope of bringing a little bit more of the kingdom of heaven to earth, to bring a little of God to my life.