March 2nd, 2006

Woke up at two p.m. today. Stayed up lated playing the guitar. Took a shower and went into work. Ol' Forrest was working tonight. That crazy red head! I wish he'd have gone to my high school. Rachel, Leslie, and Lauren stopped in to visit Justin. Beauty it seems travels in packs. I am still infuriated about what those guys said about Rachel. Never even knew I had a violent side until I heard them say that. She is just one of those people. Nice to everyone, drop dead gorgeous, sincere, brilliant, humble, persistent, and just has a great heart. I only know a little of her, but I feel strongly that every encounter is a small portrait of a much bigger heart. I believe the world about her. I think that our prayer life reflects where our hearts are, I am just so burdened to see her not have to deal with this. I see in her more of how adversity builds character than in most anyone else I've ever met.

Emily came in. Talked to her about her future plans. Was feeling really depressed. She wants to make a difference in this world and has the abilities to do it. For some reason it seems that this world wants to drag our generation down with thoughts of practicality, and lifestyle, as though they care nothing for mission or purpose. She had a teacher tell her (from her own personal experience) that working in the inner city wasn't worth it because of the pay. It broke me up. Why has such a change of heart occurred. It seems sometimes that all we hear is how important money is, when all we want to do is change the world. Why are so many amazing hearts broken by such lack of sight, and vision? I think that the reason that so many people from our age bracket are seeking religion is because it is the only thing big enough to hold our ambitions. Maybe parents, teachers, and other Gen-X pluss-ers should begin to cast a vision big enough for us to fill, instead of shrinking us to their narrow visions.

Spiritual question: why is passion so fervently extinguished, and beauty so cruelly asphyxiated?

Brandon, and Jess and I went over and hung out with Julie Collins. Its really nice that all of my closest friends get along so well together. I realized today just how much I missed Jess, and Brandon. I got a little glimpse of how difficult life is going to be as we undoubtedly move toward separate lives. I also saw a very scary reality, regardless of whether or not I get into IWU I am going to have to part with one of them, even if only for a little while, it is something I don't want to let linger in my thoughts for now. We said goodbye to Jules as she was going down to Holland to visit her man. You go Eggenschwiler!

Went over to Jess' house. Brandon was over, and we all had a good time. Found out Jess shares my passion for Shamrock Shakes, I bet your all surprised. Jess has a photo shoot tomorrow, and wants to look stunning. I, of course, want the same thing for her, so I offered to iron her clothes. I was tired, as heck, and it was late, but hey I had caffeine in me, and time to spare. Got home and started about midnight. You might not believe me but there is an intricate art to ironing pleats. I broke out the “Man Book” (I am authoring it myself, its a collection of magazine clippets of basic things every man must know). My favorite author is a buttler from England named Mr. Besteley. He has been a butler for 37 years, and truly models for me what it means to be a servant, but also what it means to be a leader and to do everything to the best of your abilities. For a basic Sunday shirt the built in steamers would suffice, but for a model, no. I did the wet towel method on all of them. Up till about three. I think viewing it as art changes things a bit, makes it less mathematical, and kept my mind off the time. Had to keep saying to myself that sacrifice is everything in friendship, but when you care strongly enough for some one even a bullet becomes inconsequential.
Spiritual introspection: I need to be a more unselfish person, period!